This Redditor's Family Wants Them to 'Put Aside Their Identity for One Day' for a Wedding & Just, No

It’s never okay to ask a transgender or nonbinary person to “put aside their identity.” Unfortunately, that’s exactly what happened to Redditor @modernbaseballfan69, a nonbinary person whose brother fought them on wearing clothing that affirms their gender in his wedding party.

Writing in the infamous /AmITheAsshole Subreddit, @modernbaseballfan69 provided this context: Their brother is getting married next month, and his bride-to-be asked them to be in their wedding party.

“I was thrilled and excited to be included, but then she informed me that the dress code for the bridal party was gender-specific, with women expected to wear dresses and men expected to wear suits,” they explained. “As someone who identifies as nonbinary and is more masculine-presenting, I am uncomfortable with conforming to a gender binary that doesn’t accurately represent me.

A totally reasonable concern, right? Not according to their brother and future sister-in-law: “I brought this up with my brother and his fiancée, but they insisted that they wanted all their guests to adhere to the dress code, regardless of how it made them feel.”

BIG yikes. Given that information, @modernbaseballfan69 decided to skip out on the wedding altogether.

“I ultimately decided that I did not want to attend the wedding, as I did not feel comfortable being pressured to conform to a gender binary that doesn’t accurately represent me,” they continued. “My brother and his fiancé are now upset with me, accusing me of being difficult and not willing to compromise.”

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